Anxieties are at an all time high these days in Wonderland. The Queen has been on a rampage for what seems like months. Everyone’s head seems to be “on the chopping block”.
Yes, I am the world famous Cheshire Cat. My jokes are corny, but you love them just the same.
As I was saying, the cards seemed to be stacked against everyone and anyone that crossed the path of the Queen. Even yours truly has found himself on the wrong side of her highness’s blade. Things have not been quite the same since that girl appeared and disrupted the order of things.
True, it has now been 2 years since the tea party incident. The Hatter found a decent lawyer and finally got himself out of the gallows. The White Rabbit is still running around like he’s running out of time (I warned you the jokes are corny). The only bloke who never seems to change is the Caterpillar. Every day he can be found on top of a mushroom smoking his hookah. I swear he is the most laid back resident of Wonderland, besides myself of course.
Instead of rambling on, I guess I should start telling you about the Queen’s fury. That woman can be maddening sometimes. Yes, I know I am maddening every day, but that’s what I’m known for. Let’s begin, shall we…
“Where is that good for nothing, ocd induced White Rabbit? He is my timekeeper. He’s never on time even with that stupid watch.” The Queen screamed at her court. “Did he lose his precious watch? Maybe it finally broke.” She said angrily.
The Ace of Spades nervously responded, “Your Majesty, I believe I see him coming down the path now. would you like us to grab him and escort him the rest of the way?”
“Don’t bother. It will just create more of a scene. The last thing I want is the attention on the furry little animal.” The Queens eyes were burning red at this point.
The White Rabbit sprinted towards the Queen’s throne and pulled up just before crashing. Out of breathe and bend over he mumbled, “Sorry I’m late again Your Majesty. I got into a lengthy discussion with The Cheshire Cat.”
The Queen’s face was near bursting at this point, “I don’t care WHAT your excuse is. You’re late… AGAIN!! Do you know what happens when I get angry?! Well, do you?”
“Ye… yes Your Majesty. I… I know what happens. It wasn’t my fault tho. I tried telling that darn cat numerous times I was in a hurry to meet with you. He just doesn’t care. Cheshire just does as he pleases at others expense.” The White Rabbit was shaking and crying at this point.
“I don’t want to hear any excuses. We’ve wasted enough time on this. The Cheshire Cat has a way of disrupting everything in Wonderland. He…” the Queen stopped in mid-sentence.
“Did someone call for me?” I appeared out of thin air at the mention of my name (remember, I’m narrating this ridiculous story). “I thought I heard my name.”
The Queen staring directly at me, “No, I didn’t call for you. Bloody hell, not everything is about you! The White Rabbit was just explaining why he was late arriving to my court once again. Please do us all a favor and disappear.”
I smile at the Queen like only I can, “I’ll vanish, but I’ll still be here watching and listening. Remember Queenie, you may “rule” Wonderland, but I run the joint.”
Eyes blazing and steam pouring from her ears, “You… you… Aaaaargh!! Just GO! Get out of my sight. Leave and don’t come back unless I call for you.”
I slowly begin to vanish, leaving just my smile behind, “Goodbye sounds so final, so I’ll say see you later Queenie.”
Echoing throughout the forest, the Queen yelled “GOOOOOOOO!!!”
And off I went. Was I still there in her court? Even if I wasn’t physically there, I was still there. I’m always paying attention to what is happening in Wonderland. Someone has to keep tabs on the cast of characters wandering the premises.
To Be Continued…