Wonderland Revisited Part 1

Anxieties are at an all time high these days in Wonderland. The Queen has been on a rampage for what seems like months. Everyone’s head seems to be “on the chopping block”.

Yes, I am the world famous Cheshire Cat. My jokes are corny, but you love them just the same.

As I was saying, the cards seemed to be stacked against everyone and anyone that crossed the path of the Queen. Even yours truly has found himself on the wrong side of her highness’s blade. Things have not been quite the same since that girl appeared and disrupted the order of things.

True, it has now been 2 years since the tea party incident. The Hatter found a decent lawyer and finally got himself out of the gallows. The White Rabbit is still running around like he’s running out of time (I warned you the jokes are corny). The only bloke who never seems to change is the Caterpillar. Every day he can be found on top of a mushroom smoking his hookah. I swear he is the most laid back resident of Wonderland, besides myself of course.

Instead of rambling on, I guess I should start telling you about the Queen’s fury. That woman can be maddening sometimes. Yes, I know I am maddening every day, but that’s what I’m known for. Let’s begin, shall we…

“Where is that good for nothing, ocd induced White Rabbit? He is my timekeeper. He’s never on time even with that stupid watch.” The Queen screamed at her court. “Did he lose his precious watch? Maybe it finally broke.” She said angrily.

The Ace of Spades nervously responded, “Your Majesty, I believe I see him coming down the path now. would you like us to grab him and escort him the rest of the way?”

“Don’t bother. It will just create more of a scene. The last thing I want is the attention on the furry little animal.” The Queens eyes were burning red at this point.

The White Rabbit sprinted towards the Queen’s throne and pulled up just before crashing. Out of breathe and bend over he mumbled, “Sorry I’m late again Your Majesty. I got into a lengthy discussion with The Cheshire Cat.”

The Queen’s face was near bursting at this point, “I don’t care WHAT your excuse is. You’re late… AGAIN!! Do you know what happens when I get angry?! Well, do you?”

“Ye… yes Your Majesty. I… I know what happens. It wasn’t my fault tho. I tried telling that darn cat numerous times I was in a hurry to meet with you. He just doesn’t care. Cheshire just does as he pleases at others expense.” The White Rabbit was shaking and crying at this point.

“I don’t want to hear any excuses. We’ve wasted enough time on this. The Cheshire Cat has a way of disrupting everything in Wonderland. He…” the Queen stopped in mid-sentence.

“Did someone call for me?” I appeared out of thin air at the mention of my name (remember, I’m narrating this ridiculous story). “I thought I heard my name.”

The Queen staring directly at me, “No, I didn’t call for you. Bloody hell, not everything is about you! The White Rabbit was just explaining why he was late arriving to my court once again. Please do us all a favor and disappear.”

I smile at the Queen like only I can, “I’ll vanish, but I’ll still be here watching and listening. Remember Queenie, you may “rule” Wonderland, but I run the joint.”

Eyes blazing and steam pouring from her ears, “You… you… Aaaaargh!! Just GO! Get out of my sight. Leave and don’t come back unless I call for you.”

I slowly begin to vanish, leaving just my smile behind, “Goodbye sounds so final, so I’ll say see you later Queenie.”

Echoing throughout the forest, the Queen yelled “GOOOOOOOO!!!”

And off I went. Was I still there in her court? Even if I wasn’t physically there, I was still there. I’m always paying attention to what is happening in Wonderland. Someone has to keep tabs on the cast of characters wandering the premises.

To Be Continued…


Every land has its story, but none can compete with the many odd tales of Wonderland.

Ours is a realm where the unimaginable can happen at the snap of a finger. A clock could cut you off in the middle of the woods, screaming about some atrocity. The Twins may cause you to lose your mind with their incessant shenanigans and there’s no telling when the Queen will decide she wants someone or something beheaded.

You may have even met some of Wonderland’s unique characters in some of the other stories that have been told. These astounding tales have been passed down for generations. And while you may be familiar with the stories of your childhood, there are still so many secrets to share.

The splendors of Wonderland go beyond the two stories about “that girl” which everyone knows. Everything that has leaked out about us comes from a tale of a child falling into our world through a rabbit hole. She gets movies and video games made about her and what about us? Nothing… absolute zero. Our stories stay silent. True, there are a few citizens of Wonderland that have become well-known from “that girl’s” tales,  but we don’t profit off of it like she does. The girl has told her story in such a way that everyone thinks it was just a story.

I have seen first hand what went on throughout Wonderland and can take you even deeper into the bizarre world that The Red Queen, The Hatter, The March Hare and myself have endured for quite some time. If you don’t believe me, continue reading the pages that follow and judge for yourself.

Before we begin our journey, let me make one thing crystal clear…

Everyone thinks it is The Queen who rules over Wonderland. Well, they’re wrong. She may be Queen, but it’s ME! I run this place! ME! I am the one with eyes and ears everywhere. I am the one with my paws on the pulse of everything that happens in our strange, yet colorful world of WONDERLAND!!

Who am I, you ask? Wonder no longer. I am the one, the only, the master of mischief and, in my humble opinion, the most famous of all…The Cheshire Cat.

Would I lie?! 

The Queen’s Court (Epilogue)

(Within hours of the piano episode)

The Queen was seated on her lush, red throne and in a particularly bad mood. “Guards!!! Find me someone to torture at the Chess Board. Altho I am delighted the Hatter’s still has his head, so I can continue to torture him, I need a new victim.”

The Ace of Spades stood at attention in front of the Queen, “Yes, Your Majesty, I will get right on it.” He then bowed and left the Court.

There was an animated game of croquet going on and the Queen shifted her attention to that. “Now, here’s a game of skill that I’ve always enjoyed. Princess, you better watch the Gryphon. He is very sneaky if you aren’t paying attention.”

The Gryphon looked at the Queen in a questioning way, “Your Majesty, why would you squeal on me like that?”

“Because I can Gryphon. Now, play the game or I’ll cut off YOUR head.” The Queen replies in a manner that was half serious and half joking.


A short time later, the Queen was playing chess and the Cheshire Cat appeared…

“Hello Your Majesty… I see you have found a new subject to destroy.” The grin was from ear to ear as usual.

The Queen turned in anger, “What is it that you want Cat? Have you come to gloat about the Hatter’s actually saving his own head?”

Only the Cat’s eyes and mouth were now visible, “No, not at all. They are having a tea party over there now and I couldn’t stand all of the noise.”

“Another tea party? Didn’t he learn from the last time he did that?! I’ve given the Hatter too many breaks and he continues to do things like this.” The Queen was losing her temper again. “Besides, I’m still not convinced that you were not somehow involved in this whole charade. It baffles me how the Hatter can go from not playing a note to playing beautifully in just a matter of days.”

The Cat responded, “Don’t you trust me Queenie? I would never, Ever do anything to upset you.”

“How can I trust someone or something that constantly jumps in and out if existence? You’ve got to be out of your mind!!” The Queen was out of her chair now and moving towards to floating smile of the Cheshire Cat.

The Cat chuckled, “You’re not the first one to say that and you certainly won’t be the last…” the Cheshire Cat grinned even larger, “Because, we’re all mad here.”

The Queen stopped suddenly, “You say that as though it is a badge of honor, Cat.”

“Oh, it is, Your Majesty, it truly is. You see, no one in Wonderland is completely sane. Everyone and everything is at least a little off, which makes us all unique.” The Cat was fading in and out of existence.

The Queen began to back away, “You’re crazy. I’ll catch you one of these times Cat. And when I do, it will be off with your head. Now get out of my sight before I change my mind and behead you this instant.”

The Cheshire Cat winked at the Queen, “My pleasure. This party was starting to get stale anyway. I’ll go where I’m more wanted.”

And with that, the Cheshire Cat vanished into the darkness.

THE END… Maybe

The Queen’s Court (Part 7)

The Cheshire Cat looked on as the Dormouse and the Hatter continued to practice on the piano. The sound of the instrument stifled the “rumbling” coming from a distance. The Cat, however, could hear the noise and motioned to stop “playing”. The Hatter rapped on the piano and the Dormouse stopped.

Looking at the Cat quizzically, “What is it Cat? Did we hit a wrong note?”

“No, no… it was nothing the two of you did. Listen carefully… do you hear that noise coming from outside?”

The Hatter turned towards the door, “I hear something, but can’t make out what it is.”

The Dormouse stuck his head out of the piano, “I know what that is. It’s the Queen’s guard. And it sounds like they are heading this way.”

The Hatter began to shake, “Oh dear, what do we do? What ever will we do?”

Always smiling, the Cheshire Cat responded, “Relax… I’ll take care of everything. You two keep practicing and I’ll be back in a jiffy.”

“Where are you going? You can’t leave now.” The Hatter was starting to sweat and turn red in the face.

The Cat began to vanish, “I’m going to delay them along the path. That will give you enough time to prepare if the Queen is indeed headed this way.”

“Fine, go… my life is over anyway. This will never work.” The Hatter was now in tears.

“It will work. Everything will be fine.” The Cat’s arm appeared out of nowhere and he threw a bottle towards the Dormouse, “Drink this Dormouse. It will make you disappear, kind of like me.” The Cat smiled that big smile again.

The Dormouse looked at the bottle which was labeled “Elixir”. “Ok… ok, I’ll drink it if you think it will work. But if I fall asleep, good luck finding me in here.”

The Cat let out a chuckle, “It’s only temporary. Don’t use it unless you hear the Queen at the door. It should last about an hour once ingested.” The Cheshire Cat disappeared, then his smile reappeared for a moment, “Trust me… because I’m all you’ve got at this point.”

And with that, the Cheshire Cat vanished.


Led by the guards, the Queen and her Court marched down the beaten path towards the Hatter’s house. They passed a murder of crows along the way. They were shouting, “Go get him Queen. He’s the worst. The Hatter has had his last chance. Put his head on a stake.” There was obviously no love lost between the crows and the Hatter.

As they passed by a giant oak tree, a voice spoke, “Hello Queenie… Are you enjoying this lovely afternoon?” The voice belonged to none other than the Cheshire Cat.

“What do you want Cat? Im in a hurry if you couldn’t tell.” The Queen seemed perturbed by the Cat’s presence.

“I’m just being friendly, your Majesty.” The Cat was grinning from ear to ear which irritated the Queen.

“Well don’t bother me now. I’m going to the Hatter’s house. He’s had enough time and I want this ordeal over and done with.” The Queen said matter-of-factly.

The Cheshire Cat responded, “I’ve heard him practicing all day for you. He has become quite proficient in a short period of time. I believe you will be impressed.”

The Queen snarled at the Cat, “I WILL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT!!”

“Alright Queenie, go enjoy the performance. I’m going to stay right here.” The Cat smiled and became preoccupied with something in another tree.


The Ace of Spades approached the door, banging on it as hard as he could, “Open up Hatter. The Queen would like to speak with you.”

The Hatter quickly jumped from the bench and made sure the Dormouse was hidden in the piano. He motioned for the Dormouse to drink the elixir once inside the piano and closed the top. He then straightened his jacket and approached the door.

Upon opening the door, the Hatter was met with a large spike situated across the doorway. He backed away upon seeing this and vowed to the Queen.

As she approached the door, the Queen spoke, “Your time is up Hatter. Disregard what that smarmy Cat told you about having several more days to prepare. Enough of my time has been wasted. I want to hear some music NOW!”

The Hatter responded hastily, “Yes… yes, Your Majesty. Right away, Your Majesty. Please, follow me.”

The Queen barreled her way past the guards and made herself at home near the piano. “Guards, quickly, inspect everything. I want to make sure there is no trickery here. I know that Cat hangs around here a lot and I don’t trust him for a second.”

Hesitantly, the Hatter said, “My Queen, I assure you that the Cheshire Cat has not helped me in any way. He is more of a nuisance than a help.”

“For once, I actually agree with you on something Hatter. That Cat is always sticking his nose in everyone’s business.” The Queen said gleefully. “Now, play something for me and make it good. Otherwise, you know what will happen.”

“Right away, Your Majesty. I’m going to play “Moonlight” Sonata for you.” The Hatter said as he took his seat at the piano.

The Queen dismissed this, “Fine, whatever… just make sure it sounds like music. I’m not in the mood to hear horrible music. And I’m ALWAYS in the mood to cut someone’s head off.”

The Hatter tapped the specified keys on the piano to alert the Dormouse they would begin. The Dormouse adjusted himself inside the piano and started to play. The Hatter moved his fingers across the keys as if he were actually playing the song.

As the music played, the Queen seemed somewhat surprised. Remember, just a little while back, the Dodo told her that the Hatter was a horrible piano player. The Queen nodded and bobbed her head in tune to the music. She looked as tho she were enjoying herself for once.

During the song, the Hatter glanced back to see the Queen’s reaction. The sight of the Queen enjoying herself brought a huge sigh of relief to the Hatter. He continued to play until the song was finished. The Queen then nodded and asked for another song to be played.

With a tap of two piano keys, the Dormouse began to play a second song. The Hatter “played” along to the delight of the Queen and her Court.

At some point, the Cheshire Cat had arrived to observe the performance. He was elated to see that the Queen approved, altho, he was sure that she would have many questions later.

Several songs later, the Queen held up her hand to stop the Hatter. She had heard enough to make her decision. “Hatter, despite my earlier concerns, you have performed admirably and to my liking. It seems as though you will live to see another day.”

The Hatter was overcome with joy, “Thank you, Your Majesty. That is wonderful news. I’m glad I had the opportunity to entertain you.”

“I applaud your ability to learn the piano so quickly and hereby cancel all of the charges against you from your past discrepancies.”

“Again, I thank you, Your Majesty. It was my pleasure to perform for you.” The Hatter felt a huge weight lifted off of his shoulders.

The Cheshire Cat laid on top of the piano, grinning as only he could, “You see, My Queen, I knew the Hatter could do as you asked. He is quite resourceful when it comes down to it.”

The Queen glanced towards the Cat, “Yes, quite resourceful. Now, I must be going. There are other appointments I must get to.” And with that, the Queen exited the house and made her way back down the dusty path.


The Cheshire Cat watched out the window as the Queen and her Court made their way down the path and away from the house. Once she was far enough away he said to the Hatter, “I told you to let me handle things. The Queen is happy, you are happy, everyone is happy.”

The Hatter knocked on the top of the piano, but did not hear any movement. He raised the top and saw the Dormouse curled up and sleeping at the bottom of the compartment. “We will leave him asleep for now. The poor fellow must be exhausted from playing in that stressful situation.”

The Cheshire Cat responded, “Yes, while he sleeps, let’s go out back and get set for a celebration with some tea.”

“Wonderful idea! I’ll invite some of the others to stop by and we can make a party of it.” The Hatter said excitedly.


An hour later, the Hatter had the table set with tea and crumpets. There were plenty of places for everyone.

That evening, the seats began to fill with the likes of the Dodo, the Dormouse, the Hare, the Tortoise and many of the other peculiar inhabitants of Wonderland.

Everything was back to “normal” for at least one more day.

The Queen’s Court (Part 6)

As the Dodo went out the back entrance, the Hatter went to answer the front door. Upon opening the door, he found the Dormouse leaning against the doorframe sleeping. Next to the sleeping figure was that disturbingly large smile. “Hello Cat, it’s about time you show up. I’ve been losing my mind trying to learn the piano so I don’t lose my head.”

The teeth started to chuckle, “Have no fear, the Cat is here. I told you I would help and here it is.” The Cheshire Cat nudged the Dormouse awake.

“How is he going to help me? Look,” the Hatter pointed at the Dormouse, “he can’t even stay awake for more than half a minute.”

The Cat laughed again, “Relax, once we give him something to do, everything with be alright.”

“My best chance at pulling this off just went running out the back door because he’s afraid of the Queen. It’s a shame too because the Dodo actually knew how to play the piano.” The Hatter said glumly.

“The Dodo was just here? What did he want? And why is he so afraid of Her Majesty?” Because it was just the smile, the Hatter could not tell if the Cheshire Cat was joking or being serious.

Smacking himself in the head, the Hatter replied, “He heard me playing the piano as he passed by and wanted to make sure I was alright. I guess my playing is so bad is sounded horrific. Then, the Dodo proceeded to take a seat at the piano and play it wonderfully.”

The Cat’s eyebrows appeared and arched up, ” You mean the Dodo was good? And he refused to help? Oh, one more question… how did he play it?”

“What do you mean how did he play it? He sat down and struck the keys with his feathered fingers.” The Hatter’s started to get red in the face.

The Cheshire Cat shook his head in approval, ” I would have thought he would use his beak. The feathered, to me, would seem like they’d be in the way.”

“Enough about the Dodo that won’t help. Can we get on with this? Time is ticking, even though I don’t have a watch because that damn Hare stole it.” The Hatter’s was absolutely livid now.

“Calm yourself Hatter. You’ve got me here helping you. What more could you need, besides a friend indeed.” The Cat flashed this pearly whites once again.

The Hatter took a deep breath and said, “Fine, what’s the plan?”

The Cat finally took a physical form on the porch, “Let’s have a seat at the piano and get started.”


The Dodo was speeding along the dirt path away from the Hatter’s house when he ran, literally, into the Queen’s head guard, The Ace of Spades (otherwise known as Lemmy).

The Dodo shook his head and refocused on the guard standing in front of him. There were several other guards there as well. ” I’m sorry to bump into you gentlemen. I’m kind of in a hurry and wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

Looking down at the Dodo, the Ace responded, “Where were you coming from peasant? It looks like you came from behind the Hatter’s house.”

Trying his best to stay calm and not cause any trouble, “Well, I, ummmmm, well… I heard some noise and went to check on things. That’s all I did. I swear. Please don’t hurt me.”

“Why so nervous Dodo? If you’re innocent then there’s nothing to worry about. I believe you, I really do. That’s not what matters tho. The only thing that matters…” the guard paused and pointed behind him, “… is that SHE believes you.” The guards split and the Queen appeared from the within the deck of guards.

The Queen addressed the Dodo with a hint of sarcasm, “Dear, sweet Dodo. Why is it that you always seem to be caught in these extreme predicaments? Hmmmmm? I will let you continue on your way if you tell me what is going on at that house.”

The Dodo just about soiled himself at this point, he was so nervous, “From what I heard and saw, nothing extraordinary. The Hatter is absolutely atrocious when it comes to playing the piano. He even tried to get me to help him. I refused of course because I live to serve my Queen.”

Her Majesty seemed to approve of this statement, “Dodo, I can tell I make you nervous and I will not apologize for that. However, I can also tell that you are being truthful. In the future, PLEASE try to keep clear of these unfathomable circumstances.

“Yes… yes, your Majesty. I will do my best to stay away from all bad happenings. Thank you, your Majesty.” The Dodo was practically in tears.

“Now go! I have things to do and you’re wasting my time.” The Queen commanded.

The Dodo wasted no time in getting up off the ground and sprinting away. He was hoping that was the last time he would see the Queen for awhile.


The Hatter looked a bit worried while talking to the Cat, “What is your plan Cat? Time is of the essence and it’s starting to run out.”

“That is why I brought the Dormouse with me. He is going to climb into the piano and play for you while you pretend to stroke the keys.” The Cat said cheerily.

The Hatter looked over at the Dormouse, who was asleep again, then turned back towards the Cheshire Cat, “That’s your plan? Are you joking? I’m doomed. The Dormouse can’t stay awake for more than a minute. How is he going to play an entire song from inside the piano? It will be dark in there and he will definitely fall asleep!!”

“Calm down, calm down. Once inside and playing, Dormouse will be wide awake. It’s only when there’s nothing to do that he constantly falls asleep.” The Cat was chuckling to himself all along.

The Hatter nudged the Dormouse awake, “Dormouse, can you really play the strings inside the piano?”

The Dormouse answers sleepily, “Yes, sure… no problem. I’ll crawl inside and play just as well as that darned Dodo. He and I used to play concerts together all of the time.”

The Cat’s grin went from ear to ear, “See, nothing to worry about. The Dodo is a dodo, the Dormouse is your savior. Let’s practice a bit shall we?!”

Still unsure of this whole scheme, the Hatter agreed, “Yes, let’s get started. I’ve lost track of time and fear we are cutting things close.”

The Cheshire Cat held the top of the piano open for the Dormouse. As soon as he was in, the Cat closed the top and laid down. The Hatter took his place on the piano bench and told the Cat and Dormouse what song they would do.

The sound that came out of the piano as they both “played” surprised the Hatter, “This is ten times better than that Dodo. My life may be saved yet.

Little did the Hatter, Cheshire Cat and Dormouse know that there was a surprise approaching the front door.

The Queen’s Court (Part 5)

The Cheshire Cat wandered along the path in search of the Dormouse’s hut. He passed the time by humming to himself as he studied his surroundings. The hut was very tiny and easy to miss. As is the case with everything in Wonderland, you have to pay attention or you might miss something.

There was a bend in the path up ahead where two giant oak trees stood next to each other. It is at this location that the Dormouse’s hut was squeezed in between. If you didn’t know any better you would think it was a mound of brown moss surrounded by leaves. At the very bottom of the oak tree was a wooden sign hanging which simply said “Dormouse” on it. The Queen must have requested it because the location is so hard to find at times. Altho, the Dormouse may have wanted to stay concealed.

So many creatures within Wonderland feared for their lives because of the Queen. They felt being hidden, especially if they were small enough, was a definite plus. The Dormouse was one such creature. He lived a simple life and enjoyed being out of the way. His known friendship with the Hatter gave him one strike against the Queen. This was another reason for staying as out if the way as possible.

The Cheshire Cat strolled up to the tiny door, “Oh Dormouse! Are you home?”

“Is that the Cat that I hear? If so, Nobody is home.” The Dormouse answered in a British accent.

“Come out here this instant please you silly little mouse. I am here representing your friend the Hatter. He needs a favor from you.” The Cat knew using the Hatter’s name would entice the dormouse.

The door cracked slightly open, “What would he need from me? Is he trying to cause problems again? That last stunt nearly got us all beheaded.”

“This time is different…” the Cat said and before he could finish, he noticed the Dormouse was asleep in the doorway. “WAKE UP! You’re friend is in need of help. This is no time to sleep.”

The Dormouse woke startled, “Sorry Mr. Cat, sir. I must not have gotten enough sleep.”

The Cat called the Dormouse out for his actions, “You always fall asleep. It’s what you do. Get yourself together. I have a flawless plan.”

The Dormouse replied with a bit of trepidation, “Ok, but if this doesn’t work, the Hatter isn’t the only one that will lose his head.”

The Cheshire Cat stood, leaning against the hut while the Dormouse ran back inside to get his things. A moment later he appeared once again with his bowler hat and cane (which looked like a toothpick to the human eye).


Back at the Hatter’s house…

The Hatter was pacing back and forth, wearing a hole in his carpet, “What am I going to do? What am I going to do? Think, think, think. My playing is horrendous. The Queen will never be satisfied. Where is that lunatic Cat? I never should have trusted him.”

As he circled around the room for the millionth time, there was a knock on his door. “Well it’s about time Cat! Where have you been? Time is ticking. My life hangs in the balance here.”

The Hatter opened the door and was greeted by the Dodo, “Sorry Hatter, I’m not the Cheshire Cat. I heard the noises coming from your house and got concerned something bad was happening.”

“Oh, it’s just you Dodo. And to answer your question, yes, something bad IS happening. I’m going to be beheaded by the Queen because if a stupid piano that I can’t play.” The Hatter smacked his forehead against the keys of the piano and it made a jarring noise.

The Dodo scratched his head, “So, you were trying to play the piano? Those notes were really horrible. You should just give up. If you did that in front of the Queen she would have your head for sure.”

“Thank you for that. Do you have anything more helpful to add or is that everything?” The Hatter was losing his temper and his mind.

“Nope, nope, nope. I guess that’s it,” the Dodo said as he sauntered inside and started looking over the piano. “You know, I used to play the piano when I was younger. This is a wonderful piece of equipment if you know what you are doing.”

The Hatter stopped in his tracks and looked at the Dodo quizzically, “You played the piano? Why didn’t you say that to begin with?”

“Yes, way back when I was a young bird I learned how to play. That was so long ago I don’t think I can play anymore.”

The Dodo proceeded to sit at the piano and attempted a song. At first the notes were messy, but then it started to sound like an actual song. The Dodo continued playing at the delight of the Hatter.

Once the Dodo finished the Hatter exclaimed, “That was brilliant. Do you think you could do that for the Queen? It would save my life. ”

“No way… not a chance. That woman scares me. I’m not going anywhere near her or performing for her. One wrong note and my goose is cooked.” The Dodo looked frightened just thinking about playing the piano for the Queen.

The Hatter tried something else, “Will you teach me to play then? I will owe you my life, literally.”

The Dodo shook his head emphatically, “Not happening. I don’t want to be associated with anything. If the Queen heard that I helped you, she might come after me or send the guards to get me.”

“Fine! Don’t help a poor, innocent man who has found himself in a bit of trouble.” The Hatter’s said, trying to guilt the Dodo.

“I’m glad you understand Hatter. I wish you good luck. I must be going now.” And the Dodo waltzed out the back door. Once outside, he ran as fast as he could to get as far away as possible.

The Hatter on the other hand seemed even more depressed, “I finally find someone who can help me and he takes off. You can’t trust anyone around here to help.”


Moments away from the Hatter’s house…

The Dormouse was starting to get skittish, “Maybe this isn’t a good idea Cat. The Queen really dislikes the Hatter. If she finds out we are conspiring with him, then she may come after us as well.”

“Stop being so worrisome. The Queen has it out for Hatter, not for us. I am a trusted servant of the Queen. That gives me the authority to enlist the help of anyone I see fit” the Cheshire Cat said matter-of-factly.

” That doesn’t give you the authority to do anything. The Queen just wants to see what crazy stuff you will do next. She can’t catch you so it’s more of an entertainment thing. Plus, you are a good set of eyes for her to have since you move around so sneakily.” The Dormouse wasn’t mincing words.

“You see things your way, and I’ll see them the correct way. Now, we are almost there. Once inside I will outline my plan to you and the Hatter.” The Cat seemed more focused than ever.

The Dormouse sighed deeply and replied, “Well, it was a nice life while it lasted. Let’s get this over with.”

The Cheshire Cat grinned his trademark toothy grin as they walked up to the Hatter’s doorstep. Just as the Cat was about to knock, the Dormouse fell asleep against the wall of the house.

The Cheshire Cat thought you himself, “Yea, this is going to work out just fine.”

The Queen’s Court (Part 4)

The Cheshire Cat obviously had something up his sleeve. He never did anything without having a reason. In this case, it was to keep the Queen happy and the Hatter’s head attached because there’s nothing worse than a headless Hatter.

The crows gathered around the Cat as he was perched on a tree branch in the woods. Altho his smile was constant, the birds still questioned why he was smiling. “Alright Cat, what have you got planned this time? You can’t fool use with that sheepish smile.”

“Whatever do you mean? I’m just sitting here enjoying the sunshine.” The cat replied with a toothy grin.

“Well, if we find out you’re up to something, the Queen isn’t going to be happy about it.” The birds threatened the Cheshire Cat.

Still grinning, “I would NEVER do anything to upset Her Majesty. I love to serve her”

The lead crow was getting agitated now, “Well, that’s a lie if I ever heard one. We all know that you serve yourself. You may have the Queen fooled, but not us.”

“Whatever you say. I must be going now. Things to do and people to see” the Cat said as he disappeared from his perch.


By late afternoon, the Hatter was sitting at his desk jotting down some notes about playing the piano that he thought would be important. Thinking to himself, “I should start practicing on the piano. If I can’t find someone to play then I have to do the best I can. It’s not feasible waiting around for that deranged Cat. It’s anyone’s guess as to what he will come up with.”

He proceeded to take a seat at the piano, open the book of sheet music and attempt to play. The Hatter wrecked his way through the song. Even to his own ears it sounds as tho some type of animal was dying. Even he knew that playing the piano was not possible.

The Hatter spent the next half hour attempting to play a short piece to no avail. Even Chopsticks was not an easy enough song for him to get through. The song started off sounding like a piece of music, but by the end it sounded like a train wreck.

There were still a few days before the performance in front of the Queen. It was still possible for a miracle to happen before that time.

“Ok, I just have to take a deep breath and relax. This is all going to turn out fine.” The Hatter was attempting to give himself a pep talk.

He took his place at the piano one last time and started playing once again. This time, he didn’t think about playing. Instead, he let his fingers do the thinking. They were gliding along the keys and the song actually sounded like a song for a moment. Then, the Hatter caught his finger between one of the black keys and a bite key. This was a complete disaster. “I may actually have to rely on the Cheshire Cat.” He thought to himself.


The next morning the Queen’s Court convened as it did every day. She appeared to be in a good mood to start the day, although that could change drastically at any moment.

The sun was shining on the court and the Court was abuzz with gossip. Everyone seemed to be talking about the Hatter and his upcoming performance.

The Cheshire Cat appeared at the Queen’s feet and everything froze. Even the Queen stopped in mid sentence at the sight of the Cat.

“To what do I owe this visit so early in the day Cat? Has the Hatter decided to give up and accept his sentence?” The Queen was still very jovial as she spoke.

“I have not seen, nor spoken to the Hatter since I left his house early yesterday afternoon. For all I know he could be practicing til his fingertips are raw.” The Cat responded.

The Queen seemed amused at this, “Altho that image is disturbing, it pleases me to think he is attempting to accomplish something for once. Normally, that lazy man just tries to get by on the bare minimum.”

“I agree, your Majesty. This may be a good teaching lesson for the Hatter. He may finally take responsibility for his actions. He has to know this is punishment for that debacle several months ago at the party.” The Cat began to laugh as he remembered the disastrous scene.

“Yes, none of us will forget that moment. The Hatter and the Hare harboring that fugitive despite my harsh warnings.” The Queen was starting to lose her temper now. The royal court was also getting skittish knowing how the Queen’s temper could boil over.

The Cheshire Cat saw the Queen starting to boil and decided it was best to leave. “I’ll be on my way now. I have things to do and people to check on. Toodle-loo Queenie.” And he was gone at the blink of an eye.

That was her breaking point. The Queen completely lost control… “GUARDS!!! Clear the chess board.”

She pointed at a man standing to the side, “You! Get over here now. Unfortunately for you, it’s time to play a game of chess. You better lose otherwise it’s… Off with your head!!”

“Yes… yes, Your Majesty. Whatever pleases the Court.” The young man said as he graciously bowed in front of the Queen.


Once the Cheshire Cat was a safe distance away from the Court, he reappeared and walked the dusty path in the woods. He shook his head and said, “That woman really must keep herself in check. I was simply stating that she was finally paying the Hatter back for his past injustices.”

“Set her on a rampage again did you Cat?” The voice came from a patch of flowers on the side of the path.

The Cheshire Cat squinted and looked towards the area the voice came from, “Who is speaking? And why are you listening in on my conversation?”

A leaf blew to the side to reveal a caterpillar sitting under a mushroom. “Conversation? Do you always make a point of conversing with yourself?”

The Cat spotted the Caterpillar, “Oh it’s you Caterpillar. Don’t you have anything better to do like smoke your pipe? Maybe even mind your own business.”

Perturbed, the Caterpillar responded, “Why must you ALWAYS bring my hookah pipe into this? Are you jealous of the craftsmanship of it? And, for your information, you were so loud it was difficult not to inject myself into your “conversation”.”

The Cheshire Cat ignored the first part of the caterpillar’s statement and replied, “Well then, do you have any suggestions on how we can “help” the Hatter? I’m open to anything because the poor man can’t play the piano for his life. Which, by the way, is on the line at the moment.” The Caterpillar and the Cheshire Cat both laughed at that thought.

The Caterpillar took a puff from his hookah, “Good point, Cat. If my head weren’t so high in the clouds right now I might be able to help you. Instead, why don’t you try asking the Dormouse.”

The Cat’s smile grew large, “Fantastic idea. I’ll head over there now. He is the Hatters friend so maybe he can think of something.”

“Don’t cause too much trouble now Cat.” The Caterpillar was swerving and moving his arms as tho he was listening to music while he smoked.

Without saying another word, the Cheshire Cat continued down the path towards the residence of the Dormouse.

The Queen’s Court (Part 3)

The guards rushed the Hatter from the Court yard and away from the Queen before she could change her mind. The gleaming black gates opened and the Hatter was shoved out onto the dirt path.

The gates slammed shut behind him as if putting an exclamation point in the Queen’s ruling. When he turned to look back, the two guards had already disappeared and he was once again all alone. The Hatter headed down the lonesome path mumbling to himself. “Where can I find a piano player in Wonderland? It’s hard enough to find anyone sane to talk to, let alone someone who can play an instrument. I’m going to end up losing my head over something I have no control over.”

The Hatter passed a murder of crows along the way and they were heckling him. “The Queen is going to get you this time Hatter. She’s had it out for you for years.”

Another crow responded, “Yea, ever since the ridiculous tea party with that girl who escaped Wonderland, the Queen has wanted to get rid of you.”

“Don’t you filthy birds have anything better to do than harass me? You know all the locals. Isn’t there anyone that can play the piano?”

The lead crow glared down his beak, “Even if we did know someone, we would never help you. If the Queen found out we were helping she would have our heads on a platter.”

The Hatter didn’t respond, instead he continued down the path to his home. Dark clouds seemed to be following him on his journey which made his mood even gloomier.


Meanwhile, back at The Queen’s Court…

“Two days and I will finally be rid of that looney Hatter.” The Queen said to her entire council.

The Cheshire Cat vanished from his position next to the Queen and reappeared in front of her, “Pardon me, your Majesty, but might I suggest someone keep an eye on the Hatter. Just to make sure he doesn’t do anything sneaky.”

The Queen looked quizzically at the Cat, “And just who do you suggest do that? Surely, you aren’t volunteering for the task.”

“As a matter of fact, I am suggesting myself. I can watch without being seen. I’m the best candidate for the job.”

“Well, since you’re so confident in your ability to not be seen or heard, I will grant you permission.” The Queen responded with a bit of concern.

The Cheshire Cat turned to leave, but then swung back around, “One more thing, your Majesty… allow the Hatter to have a few more days to prepare himself. Lord knows that if he needs to play the piano, he will have to teach himself.”

The Queen was not too thrilled with this proposal, but was feeling charitable for the moment since she was able to beat The Hare by cheating, “Fine, but just know that I’m only doing this because you have been an integral asset to my Court.”

“Thank you, my Queen. I will relay the message to the Hatter, then disappear from sight. Of course, I will still be watching his every move for you.” The Cheshire Cat winked and grinned before leaving in a puff of smoke.


Once he was home, the Hatter just paced around the room. He thumped his fist against his head repeating the same thing over and over, “what can I do and who can I get help from?”

No one wanted to be aligned with the Hatter after the tea party incident (more on this at another time). The Queen never really forgave him for befriending the girl who visited Wonderland for a period of time and disrupted the cycle of things.

While pondering such questions, the Hatter went to his extensive book collection on the second floor and found a tattered, old book on playing the piano. It just happened to be a coincidence that he had a book on this very topic. It wasn’t surprising tho, considering the amount of space the Hatter dedicated to his books.

He plopped himself into the giant, mauve, wingback chair in his study and scanned the pages of Piano for Beginners. The Hatter spent the next few hours trying to memorize musical notes and how to play a few songs. Oddly enough, he had an Upright Piano among his collection of antiques. It was situated along the far wall of his study.

The Hatter dusted off the piano and opened the book of music. He attempted to follow the notes and play The ‘Moonlight’ Sonata. The first couple of tries were a complete disaster. It came out sounding like someone’s pet was stomping on the piano keys.

After several tries, he was about to give up when out of thin air the Cheshire Cat appeared on top of the one book case. Always curious, the Cat looked on with that unnerving smile of his.

The Hatter acknowledged his visitor and said, “What are you doing here? Did the Queen send you to check up on me?”

“Not at all my dear Hatter. I heard the horrendous noise coming from this direction and needed to see if someone or something was being tortured.” The Cat replied mockingly.

“You work for the Queen and everyone knows it. Is she waiting for you to report back about how bad I am or that I’m not searching for someone to play? If that’s it, then just get it over with so this torture will end. She can have my head.” The Hatter said dejectedly.

The Cheshire Cat sympathetically responded, “Goodness no… if anything, this visit is out of pure curiosity. You should know by now that altho everyone, including the Queen, believes I am her greatest supporter and acquaintance, the truth is I am my own hired gun. I do not answer to any one single person. I do as I please. I play both sides for my own entertainment.”

“Well, that’s being brutally honest. So, why are you actually here? It can’t be to help me.”

“That is where you are wrong Hatter. You see, I do like watching the Queen torture people, but I also like seeing the Queen be tortured. Quite frankly, she isn’t the nicest person in Wonderland.” The Cat batted his eyes and folded his paws under his chin. That grating smile seemingly growing larger by the moment.

“So, what does that mean for me? I either teach myself to play or find someone. I don’t have time to do both so I’m learning as best I can.” The Hatter seemed quite agitated at this point.

The Cheshire Cat disappeared from the bookcase and reappeared on top of the piano. “I have a brilliant plan. All we have to do is get some help.”

The Hatter’s slumped down, “Who will help tho? Ever since the incident, everyone stays as far away from me as possible.”

“Leave everything to me” the Cat exclaimed with the usual ear to ear grin.

“That’s what I was afraid you were going to say.” The Hatter said as he pondered what this scheme was going to cost him if he somehow didn’t lose his head.

The Cat clapped his paws together excitedly, “Good, now that we have that settled… I convinced the Queen to give you a few more days to prepare/find someone to play.”

“How… what? Why? I mean… thank you!” The Hatter, altho hesitant, was glad to hear he was granted more time for this impossible task. The only catch was that the Cat was now involved. Whether the Queen knew this or not was a whole different story.

The Cheshire Cat feeling very pleased with himself exclaimed… “Let’s get to work!”

Curious, surprised and unsure of what was about to happen, the Hatter said, “Where do we begin?”

“Leave all of that to me.” The Cheshire Cat responded. He slowly began to evaporate. Just as his toothy grin was about to vanish he said to himself quietly “This is going to be the best stunt I’ve ever pulled off.”

Alone once again, the Hatter was excited. At the same time he was nervous, because seriously, who in their right mind would trust the Cheshire Cat. It was his only option at this point so all he could think was “What do I have to lose?”